Today I read a great blog by L.K. Hamilton and I loved every minute it. It was about Real Love (and that is what it was titled too). If you haven’t read it I suggest you do. I for one am not going to go in depth about what it says but its ideas got me thinking.
Now this is partially based of real life and partially on writing. Love isn’t something that you can make perfect. Look at all the real love stories, fairy tales based on love, and just real life. Real love can hurt. It can sometimes feels like getting stabbed in the gut and it being twisted around and around until you just can’t take the pain anymore. Granted that is usually the most painful part of love and if that is your entire love you need help and ASAP. (and so does your character if it is in writing!) Love isn’t all flowers and chocolates like Valentines Day would usually like us to believe. It has painful parts too. Granted, one can hope that those painful parts aren’t the majority of your love, because again see above about ASAP.
Real Love is about the ups and downs, the roller coaster ride of everything in between. And I think in a lot of circumstances books and real people forget that. So many people, especially with the new age dating sites, have this ideal of love as the shining knight riding in on his horse and being everything in your dreams. I am to tell you that would be darn boring. And honestly it makes a story boring. I have read books where the romance in it has been picture perfect and I am left with a dry taste in my mouth. Real life, real love is not a perfect story. My hint, (to myself as well) is to remember the way real love is. It is the fights, it is the making up, it is the boring silences, being in two different rooms doing two different things, but it is also about snuggling up with them at night before bed and knowing you are safe and loved. It is about eating dinner together, even if it is burnt and blah. Love is everything life is. It is all the unexpected moments. It is aggravation about not getting your way, the guilt when you realize you are wrong about a fight. The awkward apology. It is about the flowers someone surprises you with. It is about the hug and kiss you give them when they get home.
Love, at least in my experience with it, is amazing. It is magical. It surpasses everything else you have ever felt. However, it doesn’t always. Sometimes it is just every day life, with content feelings. Remember this. I need to remember this when I write. You don’t want your story, especially if it has love in it, to seem cliche, to see story board. You want it to seem real. So remember the moments you have felt love. Remember it and savor it and write it.
Happy Valentines Everyone and may your life and stories be filled with love.